Previously on Ghosts: Sasappis (Román Zaragoza) is a 537-year-old virgin, and everyone loves to remind him. Also, Pete (Richie Moriarty) can leave the property, and he loves to remind everyone.
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Thor:
Finding joy in the simple things is always a necessity in life. Somewhat counterintuitively, that same rule applies all the more if you’re a ghost who lacks the ability to directly interact with most of the world.
It’s with this spirit that Thor (Devan Chandler Long) engages in his best-executed storyline all season long in this episode. In fact, Thor’s noted interest in Jay and Sam’s friendships manages to turn this week’s B storyline into a real winner. After all, besides watching paint dry (or a water heater…. heat), what could possibly be more hilariously simplistic than the passive joy of a well-executed revenge bail?
For those not in the know, a “revenge bail” is apparently when your friend cancels plans with you, and you subsequently cancel other plans with them as a result. Previously unknown to the rest of the ghosts, Thor has harbored a grudge against Alberta (Danielle Pinnock) for the last several decades after she missed his 1000th birthday celebration. Upon learning the concept, Thor opts to finally have his own revenge. It’s an easy enough idea, but with a goal every bit as simple as his broken vocabulary, Thor hilariously manages to fail.
It’s the kind of storyline that “Ghosts” does best: low stakes, high emotional/comedic potential. Much like Hetty’s somewhat misguided attempt at a social life in the last episode, the execution of Thor’s “revenge bail” unfolds with the perfect mix of absurdity and heart. As the storyline unfolds, the writers always seem to know exactly when to let a joke ride and when to let a moment hang for genuine emotion. Of course, Alberta following up her heart-to-heart with Thor by pulling a “revenge bail” of her own is the perfect end reveal.
Thor’s Best Lines:
Alberta: “Is this why you always make fun of my hat?”
Thor: “No, that unrelated fashion opinion.”
Thor: “1000 years is long time, but it better with friends.”
Thor (just a tad too excitedly): “Yes, Thor win… in Alberta’s face… but also excited for fountain friendship hang later on.”
Sasappis & Joan & Shiki:
Just in case anyone forgot that Pete can leave the property, he introduces the rest of Woodstone Mansion to a fellow so-called “roamer,” who he has determined is a perfect match for Sasappis.
After only a few seconds of screen time, it’s clear Pete might actually be right. Joan (Taylor Ortega) immediately clicks, not just with Sasappis but with the show itself. In fact, she’s easily the most entertaining guest ghost since Pete encountered Donna (Allegra Edwards). And thankfully, Joan doesn’t seem to come with the same checkered past. With her good looks, rapid-fire speech, and emotional intelligence, Joan feels tailor-made for Sasappis, who’s spent centuries trapped in snark and solitude.
That isolation, of course, ties back to the long-running joke about Sasappis: his record-breaking, 537-year stretch of virginity and his continual track record of romantic hesitation. While he briefly bonds with a car ghost named Jessica in Season 2, his real emotional anchor has always been Shiki (Crystle Lightning) — a woman he never even confessed feelings to in life. His only move? Counting the times he said hello to her and eventually leaving her family a dead deer and hoping she’d get the hint. News flash: She didn’t even know he left it there.
After all this time, when Sasappis asks Pete to a) deliver the news and b) inquire if she shares any interest (despite the obvious physical impossibility of it all), it feels like it should be a big moment for both of them. Unfortunately, the impact is somewhat dulled by just how conveniently it all clicks into place. Shiki, who’s shown zero interest in him for half a millennium, suddenly realizes she might have liked him after learning about the deer? It’s a sweet idea in some ways (though Flower probably wouldn’t agree), but it’s also an overtly crude plot device that only seems meant to create an obstacle between Sasappis and Joan.
Naturally, after Pete and Sam go to the trouble of lying about Shiki’s change of heart, Jay (Utkarsh Ambudkar) manages to torpedo everything with a verbose, accidental truth bomb (though let’s be honest, Pete was eventually gonna spill the beans, too). It eventually lands in a good place (the ghost trap is definitely thinking outside the box!), but the road there just feels a bit too neat and predictable.
Sasappis’s Best Lines:
Sasappis: “Joan, have you seen the other side of the room? It’s sort of like this, but Sam’s not there.”
Sasappis: “I just don’t want to rush into anything”
Flower: “I don’t think anyone could ever accuse you of that because you’re a 537-year-old virgin.”
Flower: “Does this man desperately need to get some?”
Sas: “He does.”
Rating: 8.7/10 – This might not be this show’s strongest episode ever, but it’s got plenty of laughs and quite a setup for next week (the ghost trap returns!).
Other great lines from this week:
Flower: “This is like when Gordon Lightfoot didn’t come to my threesome because I didn’t go to his orgy.”
Pete: “If we want to secure a rejection from a woman, I’m just the cuckold to do it.”
Flower: “It’s nice how he’s embracing it.”
Pete: “I’m a great matchmaker. I mean I have complicated feelings about it, but I did introduce Carol and Jerry [referring to his wife and best friend].”
Hetty: “Sometimes a lie is the far kinder way to go… Speaking of which, that’s a lovely blouse.”
Flower: “…and maybe finally end our long national nightmare aka your virginity.”
“Ghosts” airs Thursdays at 8:30 pm ET on CBS. Don’t forget to share your thoughts on the episode with us here at SpoilerTV!
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